Am back at home, busy busy busy, breathing in my own space again and reminding myself what it feels like to live here. The humidity makes me less crisp than I felt in the PNW, and I've had really discombobulated sleep... but lots of things are zinging into place. Had good people connections this week -- two wonderful sleepovers with my gorgeous young friend Amelia -- rich friend time with D and S and the bonus of an incredibly affirming 166 minute conversation with Pamela in chicago, with whom I build so well. I understand me, she her, ourselves together so well in our talk space. Rich time with lovers, as well, including the protracted question mark of F that will be answered, somehow, tomorrow.
Lots of pondering of identity this week, lots of ahas. More about that later. As a portal, a breakfast conversation with Amelia, conducted with the aid of finger puppets.
"You used to have a girlfriend, right?"
"Right. You met her."
"But sometimes you have boyfriends too?"
"Right. Sometimes girlfriends, sometimes boyfriends. You know how Aunt Janny used to be married to a man, but is now with Sheri? Sometimes people like boys and girls."
"But not at the same time?"
"Well, sometimes at the same time. But not usually. But people are all different. You know how we have fairy tales of the prince and princess meeting each other and living happily ever after? Mostly it just doesn't work like that."
[rollicking conversation played out with puppets, veering into gender roles and occupations for princes and princesses, Charles and Diana, divorce and Camilla Parker-Bowles as a green shiny lizard puppet and why Amelia has never heard of C P-B]
"So... it's gay if you're a man and lesbian if you're a woman... how come there are different names?"
"Well, sometimes people say gay for both... but it's a good question and not easy to answer." [Some discussion of the isle of Lesbos, Greece and clinical pathologizing of same sex lust].
"Amelia, do you actually know the word for if you like someone of the opposite sex? Like if girls like boys?"
[she shakes head]
"Most people call it Straight. There are other words, but that's the most common."
"Straight? Why?" [confused face]
"Well, because it's the most common and predictable way to love people... like a road that goes straight ahead?"
"So... if you like boys AND girls, it's Squiggly?"
2 comments:
You and friend Amelia just wrote a book to help kids see the world better. All you need is an illustrator. Imagine the last page...cartoon of wise Amelia, oversize and goddess-like in the top left hand corner, while in miniature a tiny cyclist races down a squiggly road, boys on the left-hand bends, grrls and bois on the right. Red lipstick kisses on some cheeks, but not all.
I love Camilla. She's a tough old broad. Charles was forced to marry a silly, underaged, mildly dim-witted virgin when it was Camilla whom she loved. Now they are married after all these years, wrinkles, fat, and mess. *That* is a fairytale about which Amelia must be aware!
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