Moonpie's Great Ruckus of a Night

My insane wonderful online friend Melissa (well, we've actually met in real-life, so she's really just my friend Melissa) just got back home after a week at Cape Cod. She posted something in the middle of the night last night that I just had to guest blog -- she gave me the shake laughs.

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Please make a note of the time of day of this post. This is NOT A GOOD THING. I'm down here and possibly headed for the couch (debating now, as I'll definitely startle/wake the Mr if I head back upstairs). We (meaning he, due to a Very Bad, Very Excruciating Headache) got very little sleep last night. Had stuff going on all morning and he went into his office w/J before 7am! to just do some shit post vacation and pre-back to work. He napped this afternoon and I went to bed at about 10 (to the sounds of him downstairs, googling and printing and listening to and then singing, over and over, the French Nat'l Anthem)...he came up soon after.

So the night's disruptions began w/the focking cat in the hallway, scratching shit. The Mr whisper/mumbling about it, and me getting out of bed and saying, "kittykitty" or what the fuck ever, and going back to bed and finding that the whisper/mumbling Mr was not at ALL awake after all, and I got the Big Death Yell as he freaked out upon me coming back to bed. Back to sleep and then the phone rang. Wrong number. Back to sleep and then the fucking, fucking, dirty, viscious, verminous sons of whore raccoons came and knocked over our garbage (the garbage that I put out this afternoon and forgot to put into the garage, as we do in the summer). Well, fuck that----I went downstairs and hit the outside back light and opened the garage door and waited for them to startle so that I could see what the fuck it WAS (not going out there to get sprayed by a skunk---will risk my neck on those murderous raccoons, though). Little fucker stared right at me. I was SCARED---this was 1:30 am and I know that they ATTACK! and maim people or something. So I hissed and made noises and when they got far enough away, I ran over and grabbed the trash can and popped it into the garage----hit the "close" button and ran back into the house.

Back to bed (not asleep now, now listening to the Mr (don't want to overstate this---he wasn't being that pissy) go on about what a horrible, horrible night's sleep it was. Then round 2 w/the cat----the boy yelled MOM! or something that sounded like it...and cat (as she always does, it's her favorite place) was sprawled out over his pillow after having nibbled on his ear, lol. Grabbed the cat, back to bed w/cat (she never stays w/us, but I try). Almost asleep and then the cat decides that she's not just going to scratch at doors in the hallway, but she's going to leap up and scratch shit at the same time. Don't know what the fuck that was all about, but it was a Great Ruckus, and I just said, Fuck, I'm going downstairs----she'll follow me. The Mr asked me to close the door----I said, Scout will just scratch on it later...he didn't care. So here I sit, contemplating going up to bed (which will mean opening our bedroom door and freaking the Mr right the fuck out and waking him up again) or sleeping on the couch (which will be totally fine, if the CAT. leaves boy and Mr and upstairs doors alone and just goes to sleep.

All while reading this thread, I've been mouse-clicking w/one hand and playing w/the cat (waving that cat dancer toy) w/the other, hoping to tire the little motherfucker out so that she'll sleep on the couch w/me.

And in keeping w/topic, I do have some concern and am going out of my way for the Mr here, as he is running 14 miles tomorrow am and then going to pick up my Nana so that she can watch the soccer match w/us. He has had two really bad nights' sleep in a row.

There goes the CAT up the stairs. Fuck.